Your pursuit for happiness ends here, as Xandria has all the answers you seek to live a happier life
Mention the name Xandria Ooi and a one-woman powerhouse comes to mind. Inspiring and impactful, she has held a collection of awe-inspiring roles in Malaysia’s media landscape as a TV and radio host, emcee, writer, producer and also, a happiness guru.
Her ‘30 day happiness program’ has helped her gain recognition both inside and outside of Malaysia, propelling her to continue along this path of practising and sharing her key to happiness. “For me, true success isn’t just what I achieve in my career, but to be able to truly live each day with joy,” she says. “I love what I do for work, but I also wanted to be more patient, to communicate better and to have a wonderful relationship with my family. “
Xandria believes that in order to achieve happiness in life, people need a mindset and perspective shift towards what their objectives are and that they also need to actively practice them. Don’t know where to start? We’ve got you. Xandria has offered to share with us 7 habits she personally practices to maintain a happy life at home.
#1 I TRY TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP
We all know that having less than 7 hours of sleep can result in grumpiness in most people. Which is why Xandria believes in getting a good night’s rest for a happier tomorrow. “If I don’t (get enough sleep), I have less patience and it affects not only me but the people around me,” she explains. “But sometimes, it’s hard to get enough sleep, so it’s about putting in more effort into being mindful about my reactions, to be aware if I’m being moody or impatient with people.”
Human beings are emotional creatures, and our emotions tend to govern our actions, and our actions tend to bring us a lot of unhappiness. This happens to us all, men or women.
#2 I BELIEVE IN SAYING “THANK YOU”, A LOT!
Our parents taught us from a young age that saying, “please” and “thank you” shows others that you have good manners (and that they brought you up well). However, aside from making our parents look good, the phrase itself has hidden powers in making yourself and others around you feel better. “My husband and I thank each other all the time for all the small things we do, even putting in laundry or washing dishes,” Xandria says. “I used to think that there’s no need to keep thanking the people you love because they already know how you feel, but I realised that the practice of saying “thank you” out loud really brings about the feeling of gratitude.” Since our minds can only focus on one thing at a time Xandria states that when we’re focused on gratitude, it’s not focused on what’s wrong or on the negative, which puts us in a calmer state to talk through things and solve problems.
#3 I TRUST THE REFLECTION PROCESS
Have you ever said something you didn’t mean to? You can’t take it back, but you can learn how to maintain your composure before answering in anger the next time. Just like the rest of us, Xandria has her moments of anger too, “When I feel upset, the urge is to retort or to argue or to prove that I’m right. But if I take the time to really think about why I feel the way I do, I’ll realise that it’s because of some fear or need I have – and when I know what it is, I can communicate it better, instead of just reacting to my emotions and regretting it later.” She practices writing down the things she wants to reflect on and practice, which has now translated into her informative YouTube channel.
I think that in life, we can acknowledge that something isn’t ideal, but we have to not let it affect our level of enjoyment – this is why happiness is not about enjoying life, but to live each day with joy. They sound similar but are significantly different.
#4 I PRACTICE PATIENCE
Patience – at the best of times, is a mix of skill of control. Xandria says that “I truly believe that to communicate well, we have to listen well, and I’ve found that the practice of not interrupting someone when they’re talking is a practice of patience that pays off tremendously because I really hear what someone is saying and can communicate so much better. It’s not about controlling how I feel, but to really seek to understand when I’m in a difficult conversation. Listening well and seeking to understand needs patience, and when I consciously practice this, I find that it’s possible to disagree with my husband without arguing.”
#5 I HAVE A SMOOTHIE DAILY!
“I’m obsessed with smoothies and drink them practically every morning for breakfast (my go to is a blend of frozen bananas, frozen blueberries, yoghurt and soy blended together), tastes like ice-cream but much healthier,” says Xandria. Even if you don’t fancy a smoothie, eat natural foods that are proven to be mood boosters. “However, know that regardless of what food you eat or how much you exercise, if something is unresolved in your heart and head, it’s going to weigh you down.”
Social media has a direct impact on our happiness, and it depends a lot on what we choose to consume and how we each process the information we consume. A buffet can be spread out for you, but it’s what you choose to eat that determines whether you become healthier or unhealthier.
#6 I TREASURE FAMILY TIME
“I always joke that I don’t need a lot of friends because my family members are my best friends!” Xandria laughs. “My mom, my brother and his fiancé live nearby my husband and me, and we’re all constantly in touch to share jokes, ask for advice and are each other’s support system. They bring so much joy to my life.” For those who may not have a support system at home, you can always find ways to connect with others with similar interests – either through creative or skill-learning workshops, a fitness centre or at work.
#7 I MAKE TIME FOR ‘ME’!
Nothing is more important than taking care of yourself and allowing your energy to recharge when you’re alone. “As much as I love spending time with family or connecting with a good friend, I’ve found that I relish the time where it’s just me and nobody else. Whether it’s to read, write or to watch a movie – time by myself at home really centres me,” Xandria states.
BONUS: 3 QUICK QUESTIONS WITH XANDRIA OOI
What is the most important key to constant happiness in one’s everyday life?
It is the ability to understand ourselves and be aware of why we feel the way we do. It is only then that we have the ability to act, instead of reacting when problems arise.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. What can one do to combat this?
Happiness is not about enjoying life, but to live each day with joy – they sound similar but are significantly different. When we have this perspective towards life, then we can clearly acknowledge someone else’s strengths, worth and successes without feeling threatened or down about ourselves. Because how good someone else is, doesn’t determine our value of life. Then, it’s not about comparing ourselves to another individual, it’s about being inspired by another individual.
If you’re a superhero that’s blessed with the power of happiness, what would you name yourself?
Hahahahahahaha. My initials are XO, which also means hugs and kisses, so I guess anything with an XO in it!
There are lots of ways to solve problems, but when we do it with anger, frustration or resentment, we’re not going to be happy. Much of the time, we don’t realise that we are sabotaging our own happiness by reacting to a situation in a way that brings us more grief.
If these aren’t enough to help you embark on your road to happiness, look out for Xandria’s upcoming book, “Be Happy Always – Simple Practices for Overcoming Life’s Challenges and Living Each Day with Joy”, which will be out in Fall 2019. Stay tuned for the release date by following her on Instagram.
As Xandria will be one of the speakers for REA Connect 2019, we look to bring a good mix of practices and authentic experiences to our audience. This Real Estate Agent Conference 2019 – Changing the Way You Sell is a conference specially organised for real estate agents where they can push the envelope of the property industry. We bring a wide range of voices that represent the best of online strategies, digital trends and big data, persuasive communication method as well as personal branding. Also, don’t miss the conference if you are a property industry newbie as this will leave you with new strategies and experiences. We’re really excited about REA Connect 2019– we hope you are too!
Edited by Rebecca Hani Romeli