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10 signs you’re becoming a mad hoarder


Are others concerned your hoarding ways are getting out of hand, but you feel your home is more lived-in than it is overloaded?

Let’s examine some tell-tale signs that you’ve taken your fondness for clutter a step too far…

1. Your kitchen’s bottom drawer is jammed shut.

If all you tend to discover in your kitchen’s bottom drawer are KFC refresher towels, Allen keys for furniture you no longer own, and old coins that stopped circulating in the early ’90s, you’ve got a definite clutter problem on your hands.

Take note: Organised and clutter-free bottom kitchen drawers you can actually open! Picture: Getty

2. Your linen press is a ‘proceed with caution’ situation

Does your linen press need to come with a warning from a wise monk who sits at the entry to deter unsuspecting visitors from impending doom? You’ve probably got a hoarding issue. Bonus points if the cupboard smells musty and rolled up fitted sheets come hurtling toward you when you open the door.

3. There’s a smell and you don’t know where it’s coming from

Is there an obvious pong in the air at home? If you can’t find the source of odd smells in your house because they’re hiding under clothes or piles of paper, it’s time to declutter.

Read more: How to make your home smell nice

4. You’ve got a magazine stack that rivals Mount Kosciuszko

Got a magazine stack that’s so tall it could legitimately fall on you and knock you unconscious? You probably need to do a clear out. Rather than letting mags gather dust in the corner of your room, tear out the pages that inspire you and discard the rest.

Your magazine stack should NOT look like this. Picture: Getty

5. Your treadmill has been a coat hanger for years

Been there, sold that! If your exercise equipment has turned into a second wardrobe for you to throw clothes onto, or it sits in your garage for the spiders to find their way into, you clearly need to perform cleanup and get these contraptions out of your life.

6. You can’t see the floor in your spare room

Did you have grand plans for your spare room, only to discover it’s ended up as a dumping ground for your beanies, old sewing machines, and a random rocking horse? I highly recommend you tackle this space before the last visible slither of carpet disappears.

Make good use of your spare room and say goodbye to all the unwanted junk and clutter. Picture: Getty

7. Your garage contains parts for cars you don’t own

I’m looking at you, hoarding hubbies! If you or your other half collect random tyres, old engines, vintage doors (and other parts I’m not skilled enough in cars to know the names of!), then you have a hoarding problem. Time to bid a fond farewell to these unnecessary items and get some space back.

8. You’ve got a craft box you’ve not opened in ages

If you’ve got a stack of random fabrics, hot glue guns and sequins clogging up your cupboard, you need to part ways with this pipe dream. You’re not on Project Runway and this is not a ‘make it work’ moment.

It’s time to get rid of that craft box full of junk – if you can find it! Picture: Getty

9. You refuse to discard your kids’ toys (even though your kids are 18!)

Sure, your kids may have once loved the doll with playdough coming out of her head, but they’re far past this phase now. If you’re still holding onto these toys for sentimental reasons, you probably have some mild hoarding tendencies that need examining.

10. You believe the hallway is a legitimate place to store things

Bulk buying is amazing; I hear you loud and clear. But if you have stacks of toilet paper and 4kg bags of flour running down the walls of your hallway, there’s an issue going on.

Your hallway should greet you with a sense of calm and beauty, like this one. Picture: Erinna Giblin

Read more: Keep vs. throw: Decluttering the bedroom

This article was originally published as 10 signs you’re becoming a mad hoarder by and is written by Chris Carroll.

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